US 2008 Election Demographics

 

ITS OFFICIAL!!!!! Hannity on Fox News, made the call (he must have read my GOP memo, ITS THE BORDER STUPID), Declaring that the Rep have thrown in the towel on MEX vote, so that is the defining moment in the 08 campaign, battle lines have been drawn!!! ITS WAR for America's hearts and minds (for those who have any, and are in the game), let the party begin!!! Ok, its war on mainstreet, friendlies versus enemies, and which side are you on? So lets do a quick handicap on the election demographics.
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TEAM BLUE
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Wicked Witches of the East, Gutless HOs and Flip-Flop Panderers
Impeached Perjurers, Child Molesting Womanizers and Traitors
Cut and Run Cowards, Pacifists and UN groupies
DNC Card Carrying Wet Backs, Criminal Aliens, Pilot Trainees, Sanctuary Mayors and Rino Republicans
Rump Rangers, Dikes on Bikes, and Transsexuals lead by Sergey
Bleeding Heart Liberals, Mindless CA Madusas and Vegas Land Swindlers
Delusional Paranoids, Conspiracy Theorists and Cafe Coolaide Drinkers
Temper Tandrum Questioning Students and Whinny Cubs Screaming Dont Taze me Bro
Athesists, Pegan Drues and Devil Worshipers
Welfare Hubbard Mothers, Government Tit Sucking Pigs and Tax Collectors
Damencia Patients, Stem Cell Researchers and Monkey Cloners
Political Analysts, Smear Bloggers, Hatchet Men, and Gotcha Pundits
Highway Gasoline Taxers and Wind Fall Profit Collectors
Campus ROTC Prohibitors and Most Wanter Poster Shreders
Union Workers, Dollar Savers and Evicted Subprime Home Owners
Loyal Dissenters, Disloyal Dissenters and Confused Dissenters, Dissenters, and Adult Cry Babies
Roswell Promoters, UFO Sighters, and Extraterrestrials
Legislating Judges and Do Nothing Congressmen
Sexual Libertarians, Feminists, and Baby Killers
Drug Smuglers, Marijuana Smokers and Legalization Addicts
Violent Sexy Vulgar Movie Producers and NBA team owners
Late Night Comedians and Day time Talk Show Hosts
Incarcerated Criminals, Disenfranchised Youths and Exstremist Preachers
Mob Bosses, Bank Robbers, Extortionists, and Campaign Contributors
NAACP, ACLU and AARP Members and Activists
Demonstrators, Protesters, Strikers, Anarchists and Home Grown Terrorists
Publicly Assisted University Students, Gay Students, Minority Studies Students and Student Newspaper Editors
Environmentalists, Green Peace Activist, Animal Rights Activists, and Fur Painters
Nobel Laureates, Novelists and Top-Secret Atomic Bomb How-To Manuscript Authors
Pulitzer Prize Winners, Hollywood Writers, and Hardcore Pornography Playwrights
School Teachers, Principals, PTA Parents, Left Behind Baby Sitters, Catholic Play Ground Coaches, & Home Room Pedophiles
Pardoned Serial Murderers, Paroled Rapists and Child Predators on Probation
Pardoning Governors, Compassionate Parole Boards, and Lenient Judges
Trial Lawyers, Licensed Dispute Resolution Monopolizing Sharks and Lotto Winners
Flag Burners, Metal Throwers, Phony Soldiers, and Conscientious Objectors
DeVinchy Decoders, Sacramental Urinators and Blasphiemers
O-Zone Monitors, Conservationists, Arctic Ice Monitors, Global Warming Alarmists and Noble Peace Prize Winners
Major Media Smear Merchants, Photoshop Specialists, Political Facists, Moving-on Extortionists, and Code Pricks
Class Warfare Warriors, Milk-Toast Puppy Charlatans, and Duplicitous Sharks
Secular Progressives, Billionair Socialists, Far-Left Loons, Easter Bunny Hunters and Merry Winter Holiday Tree Cutters
Academia Scholars, University Professors and Ivery Tower Socialists
Child Porn Photographers, Web Child Pronagraphers, and Tricky Dicky Lawyers
Hispanic, African, and Western European Lawful Immigrants
Bill Maher Fans, Pied Pipers, Blue Meat Eating Roaring Lions and Left Leaning Americans
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TEAM PURPLE
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Independents and Centrists
Cumbieya Campfire Girlscouts.
Swing Voters and Switch-Hitters
Bleeding Heart War Mongers
Rodney King Groupies
Fence Sitters and the Confused
Softies Squeezed by Rocks and Hard Places
Wishy Washie Proscrastinators
Dilatory Bangwangoners
Fools, Torned between Two Haters
Hear No Evil Monkeys
See No Evil Monkeys
Say No Evil Monkeys
Libertarian Types
Middle of the Road Americans
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TEAM RED
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Propagandists, Mud Slingers, and Ignorant Americans stuck on Stupid
Real Freedom Fighters, War Mongers and Terror Warriors.
Border Cops, Border Agents, Loose Cannon AZ Sheriffs, Minutemen and Vigilantes with Letters of Marque
Gold Bugs, Premature Real Money Believers and Dollar Hegemony Alarmists
Christmas Elves, Santa Clauses and Cross Dressers all guided by NY's Rudolf
Right Wing Conspirators and War Democrats
Bird Flu Pandemic Researchers and Immigration Officers
Homeland Security Guards, National Guards, and the Police State
Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, Marines, Coast Guards and Goofy Carrier Captains on the Hunt for Red November
Wire Tappers, Torturers, Rendition Pilots, Gitmo Musicians and Apple Bobbing Contest Referrees
Suspreme Court Packers and Executive Dictators
Correctional Officers, Wardens, and Executioners
Right to Lifers, Far Right Crazies and Clinic bombers
Pharmacists, Pharmaceutical Giants, Fake Imported Drug Peddlers and Dead Movie Star Doctors
Media Sensorship Monitors, Internet Monitors, TV Monitors, and 50s Musical Movie Watchers
Social Conservatives, Bible Belt Ministers, Dooms Day Prognosticators, and Flip-Flopping Excommunicated Polygamists
Reaching-Out Cops, Back Office Interrogators, and Community SWAT Members
Code on Ethics Legislators, Bribed Congressmen and Kick Back Lobbyists
Wounded Veterans Fund Contributors and Millionair Charity Workers
Traditionalists, Average Joe's, Culture Warriors, Easter Egg Hunters and Christmas Shoppers
PNAC Groupies, Neocon Globalizers, Out Sourcing CEOs and Global Free Traders
Log Cabin Boy Scouts, Den Mothers, Stay at Home Moms, and Sexists
Engineers, Scientists, Military Industrial Complex Mercenaries, Covert Intel Assassins and Spies
Chicken Hawks, War Hawks, and Area 51 Stealth Screaming Eagles
Drug Enforcement Agents, Undercover Cops and Entrapment Witnesses
Patriots, Veterans of Foreign Wars, and Old Glory Waivers
Demolay Sheppards, Job's Daughters Sheppards, Shriners, Free Masons, Teutonic Knights, and Holy Land Crusaders
Military Volunteers, Academy Cadets and Tail Hookers
Land Speculators, Fed Rate Cutters and Farcical Strong Dollar Promoters
Petro Multinational CEOs and Greedy Gasoline Gougers
Scaredy Cats, Hero Worshipers and Pretrified Parents
Fratnerity Jocks, Sorority Chicks, Over Dosed Pledges and Spring Break Partiers all inspired by Think Tankers
Day Time Radio Talk Show Hosts and Savage Nation Phone Callers
Billy Club Toating NeoNazies, KKK Grand-Dragons, Facists, Racists, Bakkie Chewers and Good Old Boys
Sworn Constitutional Upholding Officials and Prisoner Beating Cops
Sure Shot Texas Prairie Hunters, Militiamen, Self-Defenders and NRA Gunslingers with Cold Dead Hands
Bible Thumping Evangelicos, Fallen Preachers, and the Silent Moral Majority
Moral Environmentalists, Ethenol Drinkers and SUV Hybrid Drivers
Wall Street Capitalists, Scab Laborers, Jungle Survivors, and Free Marketeers
Monopolists, Bullion Hedging Major Miners, and Anti-Trust Predatory Thugs
Market Rigging Specialists, Banksters and Billionair Hedge Fund Managers
White Collar Thieves, Con Artists and Fabulously Rich Lawyers
Japanese, Chinese, Cuban, and Eastern European Lawful Immigrants
Ann Coulter Fans, Blow-Hards, Red Meat Eating Roaring Lions and Right Leaning Americans
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Now tell me honesty, AINT THIS A GREAT COUNTRY!!!! YOU BET! Everyone gets a say so!!
Lines have been drawn in the sand, and this is going to be some fun, already got a woody, my billy club, raring to go.
In the left corner is TEAM BLUE, in the right corner is TEAM RED, in the center, the match is called by TEAM PURPLE.
SO, llleeeeeeettttttttsssss RRRRUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMBBBBBLE!
ITS HARD BALL TIME!!!! Let the party begin!! FOOD FIGHT!!! FOOD FIGHT!!!
LOOK OUT FOR FRIENDLY FIRE FROM THE GET GO, UNTIL AFTER THE FREINDLIES AND ENEMIES JOIN RANKS.
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Derrick

 

And for all of you who boycotted the 2004 election, the demographics went like this:

 

 

Elmer-Fud: The Liberal Pig Mantra (should have been Porky Pig LOL )
McHale's Navy: Swift Boats
Riddler: The Flip-Flopper
Boris & Natasha: Putin
Peppie-LaPew: Chirac
Sgt Schultz: Schoerder
Wildly Coyote: Osama Bin Ladin
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Might Mouse: Me Red man in a sea of blue
Lone Ranger: Bush's Unilaterism
Sky-King: The National Guard Pilot
Dick Tracy: Home Land Security the Police state
Superman: Superpower Carrier Battle Groups
Bullwinkle & Rocky: Chenny & Bush team
Dudley Do-Right: The neocon mantra
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